My Closet

My Closet

I have been thinking about what to write about lately but my lack of success on the scale has given me a severe case of writers block.  So, I was getting dressed this morning and stood in my closet looking in my clothes.  That's when I decided to write about my closet.  You see, I have lots of clothes (well not really lots compared to most women's closets) but most of them don't quite fit me.  Some of them are old and show their age because they have holes or are faded from being washed over and over.  My other items are almost brand new.  I put them on and think "too snug," and they get hung back up in my closet.  Then the thought, "if I lose just a few pounds," runs through my head.  But those few pounds are so difficult.  I can't seem to get them off.  Sigh....  I have no dresses or skirts because I believe they look awful on me.  I keep my jeans and shorts in my dresser drawers and most of them fit fine.  But I do have a couple of pairs that would look better if I lost weight.

My closet is a place in my home that I don't like to be in.  Going in there reminds me of my weight problem and my inability to gain control.  It also reminds me that I don't like anything about my wardrobe.  I often buy dark colors to make me look thinner or plain shirts so they don't draw attention to me.  There are very few patterns or prints.  Boring!!!

I definitely love fashion and appreciate a cute outfit with great shoes and stylish accessories!  But shopping and trying on clothes is not an exciting event when your weight gets in the way.  I am currently living vicariously through my daughter who is looking fabulous!!! I love taking her shopping and letting her try on wonderful outfits.  I would buy her more if my budget allowed.  (Don't tell her that.)  I would love the go shopping for myself and not worry about having to go to the larger size departments in Macy's or go to Lane Bryant for clothes that fit.  They typically have ugly styles or the same shirt in slightly different patterns.  Even shopping for shoes is not fun any more.  I now have foot issues that I know would get better with weight loss and then the cute shoes could be mine again.  Sigh...

On a positive note: My walking has been going great.  I am going on a 2.5 to 3.3 mile walk at least three times a week.  I want to walk every day but I don't like to go out when it's windy or too cold (living in So Cal that means below 60 degrees, Ha Ha).  And I sometimes have errands to do or appointments to keep.  Also, in addition to walking, my husband started helping me to build a garden bed in our yard which has been great exercise.  We have been hauling and stacking bricks to make the 15' long x 4' wide x 2' deep bed.  That's a ton of bricks (not literally).  I felt the work in my body on Sunday and Monday even though my husband did much more work than I did.  But it felt great knowing the pain was from something I wanted and worked hard for.

I need more FOCUS.....

Peace,
Karen